Single. And Waiting.
by Joanne G. Blanco
Right now, at the door of my heart it says, “Status: Single, got no time for love.”
I have been in a relationship a year ago. Obviously, it didn’t work well. It was my first relationship – my first heartbreak. I was 15 back then when I thought I was falling in love. It was not the first time that someone has courted me; however, I said “yes” because I was excited to be in a relationship. I became obsessed with it to the point that I would not sleep at night without thinking about him. I always looked forward to seeing him and being with him. I did all the effort. But in the end, I was dumped for another girl.
It took a long time for me to move on. It was hard to make a step because something was holding me back: the fact that my first relationship was a heartbreak. When I was a child, I wanted my first love to be the last. But it didn’t quite come true.
Since then, I diverted my attention on things I should have given much focus before. Presently, I am directed on my studies and my organizations. I have this pledge that I will not engage in a relationship until I graduate: “No college diploma, no boyfriend.”
I “got no time for love” because I am busy for some other things. I stopped my search for The One, because I thought it would hurt me. For the past two semesters, I was suppressing my feelings when they should have been freed instead. I had crushes, but I was careful not to be so much into them.
I had a crush in my block. On one boring day during the first week of school, he was the one who eased my boredom. We just had a talk about random stuff, and poof! He became my crush.
He really had my attention. He was good in Math and History, as well as in basketball and in other sports. He also knew how to dance. He did wonderful things that really amazed me. He was kind, fun and thoughtful. He had all the qualities I wanted in a guy. I like him so much that I am jealous when he is with other girls.
It was so kilig because we had moments, which I treasure most. We ate together for lunch for a couple of times, strolled in the mall, played basketball in the arcade, made homework, did papers and reported together, made fun of each other, laugh at each other’s work, etc.
Seven months have passed, but still, I like him as much as I did during that boring day.
Seven months! That was relatively a long time. And so, I thought about what I REALLY feel about him. It was confusing. I remember someone asking me, “How do you know when you’re falling in love.” That was difficult to answer. In the end, anyway, I think I just like him. Nothing more than that.
These past days, I realized I was too detached. I started questioning my pledge that I will not engage in a relationship until I graduate. What if The One asks me? Will I turn him down?
No. I won’t turn him down, but I won’t say “yes” to him. Still, I will live up to what I promised myself before: “No college diploma, no boyfriend.” It is not actually saying “No”, it is saying “Yes, wait for me.” I believe that if someone is really into you, he will be willing to wait, no matter how long.
Isn’t that amazing, being with someone who waited for you for so long? At the same time, wouldn’t it be wonderful if you are able to wait for someone?
I think we should not only focus on searching for The One. We should focus in making ourselves “The One” so that we will be worth the wait.
Right now, at the door of my heart, it says, “Status: Single. And Waiting.”
Amateur na amateur pa ako niyan. Haha. Fun lang basahin ulit. :)) At syempre, sino pa nga ba yung lucky guy na tinutukoy ko diyan. Ehem Ehem. You ought to know him by now! :))
SHET nakakahiya baka may magpabasa sayo nito. :))
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